Total Drama AU
by Noel Batsworth
Summary: What would happen if TDI went completely differently? How would it affect the future seasons? Read on in this "alternate" version of TDI which explores what would happen if events went very differently to the original show. Rated T for minor swearing.


Total Drama Island: Alternate Universe

_(__The screen is black, before a countdown appears, the words "TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND" flashing on the screen)_

_Day 01, Part 01:_

The camera is seen at an island in Muskoka, Canada. It had been abandoned by its former owners, a successful summer camp over fifteen years ago before being bought by TV star, Chris McLean and being used as the setting of his new reality tv show: Total Drama Island.

Total Drama Island was being envisioned as the next "Survivor", with people saying Chris could follow in the footsteps of Jeff Probst. Personally, Chris didn't agree. He'd met Jeff Probst and thought he was a jerk.

Chris was standing on the Dock of Shame and saw the camera focusing on him; he flashed his best smile and frantically styled his hair, before saying the words that would start it all…

"Hello, people of the world! Welcome to the _next _hit reality TV series: Total Drama Island! We're bringing twenty two teenagers who _think _they're headed to a five star resort but are actually coming right _here_ to this abandoned old summer camp known as Camp Wawanakwa, where they'll fight it out over the next eight weeks for our grand prize: one hundred thousand dollars!" began Chris.

Chris walked up the dock, indicating for the camera crew to follow.

"Let's give you a tour of the camp! Right here are our "deluxe" cabins, where our campers will be staying. Not the five star suites they were expecting, that's for sure!" said Chris, showing the poorly constructed, run-down cabins to the entire world.

Chris then walked into the kitchens, where Chef Hatchet was cooking up something nasty for the future campers.

"Here's our resident cook, Chef Hatchet, qualified chef and military veteran!" introduced Chris, pointing to Chef, who was stirring the slop around a giant pot, a sour look on his face.

Chef, surprised by Chris' arrival, accidently knocked the pot onto the table, causing its content to spill, forming a hole in the table.

"Huh", said Chris, looking mildly surprised.

"Have those dumbass kids arrived yet?" asked Chef, moodily, cleaning the mess up.

"Nope, not yet!" said Chris, walking out of the kitchen, paying no attention to his co-worker's unhappiness.

"I didn't sign up to babysit twenty two spoiled teenagers!" yelled Chef.

"Read the contract!" replied Chris, already outside the door.

Chris then walked on to the campfire where he sat on one of the logs, then resumed speaking.

"Here's the campfire! Every three days or so, after a challenge takes place, the losing team will gather here, where they'll vote off one of their own. Then that person will have to leave the game in the most humiliating way possible: by walking down the Dock of Shame, boarding the Boat of Losers and never coming back: EVER!" said Chris, grinning excitedly on each word.

They were now all back at the Dock. Chris looked at his watch.

" We're going to welcome our first eleven contestants in this half of the episode. The first contestant should be arriving right about-", Chris began.

"OH MY GOSH, Chris McLean!" squealed the first arrival, a short, bespectacled girl with brown hair in a ponytail and braces covering her teeth.

"Now", Chris finished.

"I'm Beth! It's so great to meet you!" said the girl, giving Chris a bear hug, rather than, y'know, the other kinds of animal hug.

"Hey, Beth. Could you please _stop _squashing my internal organs? They're pretty useful!" wheezed Chris, his face bright red.

Beth obliged. "Sorry! I _loved _that ice skating show you did with Mila Kunis! Oh, you look _way_ shorter in real life!" said Beth excitedly.

"Yeah, Mila _still_ calls me, even though I dumped her years ago! And for your information, I'm 5'5!" replied Chris.

"Um, I'm 5'6", said Beth awkwardly.

If Chris was embarrassed, he didn't show it as he swiftly moved on with the show.

"Here comes contestant number two!" said Chris, spotting a boat in the distance.

The second contestant was a tall, lean, Jamaican-Canadian boy, wearing a green t-shirt with a capital red "D" on it and a white cap.

"Hey, Chris McLean, nice to meet you! Loved that ice skating show! I'm Devon Joseph, but y'all can call me DJ", said DJ, putting his suitcase down on the dock.

DJ frowned. "This place looked a _lot _different on the brochure"

"See, Beth, that's how should've done it", said Chris, glaring at Beth who blushed.

The next contestant was another girl. Average height, dark clothes, black hair with teal highlights. She was glaring. A _lot. _Mostly at Chris.

"Welcome to the show, uh-Gwen!" said Chris, checking his list for the name.

Gwen looked around, fully taking Camp Wawanakwa and its unattractive scenery.

"We're staying _here_?" asked Gwen, sounding appalled.

"Nope! _You're_ staying here. Myself and the other staff on the show have trailers nearby", said Chris.

Gwen sighed and walked over to Beth and DJ.

"Hey! Nice to meet you! You seem nice, maybe we can be friends?" asked Beth.

"Hey there, nice to meet you", said DJ, extending his hand to Gwen, who shook it.

"Well, at least you guys are nice. I hope everyone else is too", said Gwen. DJ nodded in agreement.

"OH YEAH! PAR-TAY!" shouted a voice in the distance. The voice turned out to belong to the fourth contestant, a tall, slightly tanned blonde haired boy wearing a purple shirt and a cowboy hat.

"Welcome to the show, Geoff!" said Chris as Geoff fist-bumped DJ, high fived Gwen and waved to Beth.

"Good to be here, man! This is gonna be awesome, I know it!" said Geoff enthusiastically, looking around, not bothered it wasn't the promised five star resort as Geoff could party just about anywhere, anytime, anyplace.

"I hope so, man!" said Chris just as enthusiastically.

"Oh, Kyle", chirped a voice from behind Chris.

A blonde haired girl, with tanned skin, blue eyes and wearing red top and orange shorts stood there, patiently waiting for Chris.

"Lindsay!" said Chris, before muttering "Not too shabby", under his breath.

"Wow, she's _so _beautiful", said Beth jealously.

"And the dumb blonde has arrived", muttered Gwen.

"Woah, hottie alert!" said Geoff, nudging DJ.

"Um, my name's Chris by the way…", said Chris, looking a little confused.

"Oh, sorry! You look _really_ familiar by the way!" said Lindsay.

Gwen face palmed.

"Um, I'm the host: CHRIS McLEAN!" said Chris, satisfied he'd gotten the message into Lindsay's head.

"Oh, that's cool, Kyle!" said Lindsay introducing herself to Beth, Gwen, DJ and Geoff, who she rechristened Betty, Gina, Darren and George.

Chris had a wry shake of his head, before continuing on.

The next contestant to arrive was another girl, with Asian features, wearing black sunglasses and having a cruel look on her face.

Beth went up to the girl.

"Hey! I guess we're all your friends for the next eight weeks!" said Beth, ever enthusiastic.

The girl shuddered and walked past Beth.

"Heather, everybody!" said Chris.

"_Please_ tell me we're not staying in this _dump_!" said Heather.

"I said pretty much the same thing", said Gwen.

Heather turned around to face Gwen.

"I'm sorry? Who asked _your _opinion, weird Goth girl?" asked Heather rudely.

Before Gwen could reply, their conversation was interrupted by the sound of heavy metal music.

A boy, the next arrival, with black hair partially dyed green and a skull t-shirt stepped off the boat and looked from Heather to Gwen.

"This is Duncan!" announced Chris.

"Damn, I miss the good stuff! Were they about to kick each other's ass?" said Duncan, addressing the second part to Geoff.

"No, we _weren't_!" said Heather, glaring at Duncan.

"Chillax, Princess. Only having some fun", replied Duncan.

"I'm _not _your princess!" yelled Heather, kicking what she thought was Duncan's suitcase into the water.

She was wrong.

"My suitcase!" yelled DJ, jumping in after it.

Heather laughed but Gwen said. "Hey, leave him alone, he did nothing wrong"

Heather ignored her, instead glaring at Duncan.

Suddenly, everyone heard and saw a jet ski in the distance, zig-zagging in the water until eventually arriving at the dock.

A boy in a red tracksuit leaped from the boat, attempting to do a front flip but failed miserably, knocking Beth and Heather's suitcases in the water.

"HE IS DEAD!" yelled Heather angrily.

DJ and Geoff went to pull the boy up.

"Thanks, guys. I'm Tyler, by the way", said the boy.

"I'm Devon Joseph, but you can call me DJ. This is Geoff", said DJ.

However Tyler was no longer paying attention. He had spotted Lindsay, looking concerned, standing behind DJ and Geoff.

"Hey, girl", said Tyler, awestruck by Lindsay's beauty.

"Are you ok?" asked Lindsay.

"Fine, thanks. No problem for a _jock_ like me!" said Tyler.

"You don't _look_ like a jock. You're really scrawny!" said Lindsay.

Sighing, Tyler said. "Fine. Nice to meet you, anyway. I'm Tyler"

"Nice to meet you Tyson! I'm Lindsay!" said Lindsay.

"Actually, my name's-", Tyler began.

"Trust me, it's not worth it", said Gwen, who was standing nearby.

"Hey look, it's Napoleon Dynamite!" said Duncan suddenly, Heather being the only one who laughed.

The newest arrival, a lanky, skinny boy with flaming red hair, thick black glasses and a blue shirt stepped off his boat, looking curious.

"Welcome to the show, Harold!" said Chris.

Harold look from Chris to the general scenery and then back again.

"So… this show's taking place in some crummy summer camp, not on a stage or anything?" asked Harold.

"Yep", replied Chris.

Harold thought about this, before replying "Cool".

Harold joined the other campers, saying a friendly 'hi' to Beth, Gwen, DJ, Geoff, Lindsay and Tyler, avoiding Heather and glaring at Duncan, the two hating each other immediately.

Harold put his suitcase down and started picking his nose.

"Dude! Gross!" said Duncan.

Harold simply ignored him, continuing on while other contestants didn't notice.

"Coming in at number ten, Trent!" said Chris.

Trent was a tall, black haired boy, wearing a yellow t-shirt with a handprint on it.

"Chris McLean! Good to be here! That ice skating shoe rocked!" said Trent, shaking hands with Chris.

Trent walked up to Gwen.

"Mind if I stand there?" asked Trent, indicating a spot beside Gwen.

Gwen nodded, blushing.

"Thanks, I'm Trent", said Trent, extending his hand to her.

"Gwen", replied Gwen, shaking his hand.

"And the final contestant for this part of the episode, Bridgette!" announced Chris.

Bridgette, a pretty blonde girl wearing a blue top and carrying a surfboard stepped off the boat.

"I doubt you'll need that surfboard, sweetheart", said Duncan.

"It said there was a lake here…?" asked Bridgette, looking around and eventually spotting the lake.

"Oh", said Bridgette.

"Oh, indeed!" said Chris, grabbing Bridgette and shoving her past him, knocking her right into Geoff.

"Sorry!" said Bridgette.

Geoff checked her out. "It's cool. I'm Geoff" said Geoff, smiling.

"Nice to meet you, Geoff, I'm Bridgette", said Bridgette, smiling too as they shook hands.

"That's it for part one! Tune in for part two when we'll introduce our next eleven contestants!"


End file.
